Here we are on day "I lost count and do not want to take the time to count the number" of quarantine/social distancing. I think a lot of people, including myself did not really expect to still be working from home and not being able to go to Barnes and Noble to hoard more books since I am finally reading some of the books I recently bought. Do not take that as complaining about it. I still very much think that we should still be staying home and doing our part to make sure the spread of this virus continues to go down. That does not mean that we have all not lost something! I wanted to take a little time to talk about that today, and ensure anyone reading this that even if your loss was a small one, you are still allowed to grieve.

Most importantly I want to talk about the biggest amount of loss during this whole thing, and that, of course, are the lives that have been taken from this virus. Maybe this is because I am a highly emotional and empathetic person, but when I see the number on the TV screen that shows the tally of worldwide deaths I can't help but feel sad and scared. Each and every one of those that make up that number are human beings. They all had a family. They all had their own unique personalities. They all, big or small, had some kind of impact on this earth. But for the purpose of the news they are all simply added to the total. Do your best to remember that every single one of them is a person. The biggest loss of all right now is of the many people losing their lives and I think we all need very much to remember that.

Now I know the things I am going to talk about in the next few paragraphs are not the same as losing your life or a loved one, but as I said before I think every loss gives you the right to grieve. I know a number of people that have had to cancel or postpone big events they had planned because of this virus. The two examples I have in mind are weddings and baby showers. I personally cannot imagine having to postpone my wedding because of something like this. You go through all that planning for months, sometimes even years, for something so unpredictable to come along and completely ruin that. It has to be absolutely heartbreaking, but at the same time you know it is the right decision. The same goes for a baby shower. I can't imagine having such a special day planned only to have it need to be canceled. Not to mention the whole point of a shower is to help the new parents out with supplies they will need for their new addition. I would imagine that is pretty scary to think about especially since new babies are an expense! These big moments being taken by something so unpredictable is heartbreaking.

What about the smaller things? I personally just had to cancel a trip I had planned with my friends. We were planning a small road trip for the end of May that we had some pretty exciting things planned during the trip. We had been also trying to coordinate a trip for years but never were able to make things work so its pretty upsetting that we had to cancel it. The bright side is we can reschedule that of course. That does not mean I don't have the right to be upset about it though right? Maybe you had to cancel a trip like I did. Maybe a movie you really wanted to see was postponed for a year or so. Maybe you were really looking forward to playing a sport this summer but it likely is going to be canceled for the year. There are plenty of smaller things like this that I am sure every single one of us have had to cancel or postpone due to this virus. Just because it is small, does not mean you cannot grieve over that loss, especially if you make sure to remember that your loss is much smaller than those suffering through the bigger ones.

So what exactly is my point here you may be wondering? My point is that you should not let anyone tell you how you are supposed to feel during this time, and that even includes yourself. When I was upset about canceling my trip I caught myself feeling guilty at first. I asked myself what right did I have to be upset about a trip while people were dying? While yes, I would much rather cancel a trip and have my health over dying of losing someone I love, but I think I am still justified in being sad about our canceled trip. I have two friends that have their first child on the way and because of this the father of each couple cannot go to the prenatal appointments. Both couples understand the reasoning for this, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard for them! We have all lost something, big or small to this virus. Allow yourself to feel any emotions you want about your loss without comparing it to how anyone else thinks you should feel. Allow yourself to grieve that loss regardless of the size. Once you let those feelings out, then remember that you are in fact still alive and healthy, count your blessings and move forward.