Positively Weightless

Happy Sunday everyone and a very happy Thanksgiving week! Every year I like to write a post about being thankful and giving thanks in honor of Thanksgiving, and this year will be no different. Sure it is going to be a little different this year since this has been one crazy year, but I think it is even more reason to sit and ponder the things we are grateful for and genuinely appreciate the beauty that is in life, no matter how bad some things can get. So yes, this post is going to be a little different this year, but the sentiment is always the same. I also wanted to make sure I included pictures of things from this year that are related to what I am thankful for. We always have something to be thankful for no matter how bad things get.

So this year has been a different one to say the least. Let's start there and why I have some reasons to be thankful for that. I know, that sounds pretty crazy. I am not taking away from any of the major things that have occurred this year and turning them about me by any means, but what I can do is try and find a positive in a negative. I as maybe people in the world spent a solid three months at home because of this pandemic. I was working from home, working out at home, and really only leaving the house to go grocery shopping. That certainly had some cons, but it definitely had some pros as well. One would be the extra time I got to spend with family. I was planning on moving out this spring but Covid ruined those plans as well, but it gave me the time to be around family, including our pup that we sadly had to put down. I think it puts things into perspective sometimes with just how busy we can get. Work, gym, dinner, bed. Over and over every single day until Covid came along to shake that up. I had some long days in that time period, but I certainly enjoyed other aspects as well.

 Happy Sunday all! I hope you all had a decent week and are hanging in there regardless of the craziness that has been this year! I for one am doing my best to keep positive and busy no matter what is going on around me, although I am slacking a bit in other departments. Take the the good where you can get it. With everything going on this year I think today's emotion is one that many of you may have been experiencing this year. Now of course that can also go for sadness. Let's face it this has been an emotional year to say the least. But the emotion I wanted to talk about today is anger.

Now before anyone makes an assumption, I had this next emotion planned out in my head well before any news in American politics came about so this is not directed at anyone that may be angry with the way those results went. I know I am someone who experiences anger myself at times and figured I could channel that to really discuss the emotion and maybe share some ways I cope with it personally. I think a lot of us can experience anger in a wide range of reactions. Sometimes you just get a little angry, but others we unleash a grizzly bear and growl at anyone around us. While I think it is important not to bottle up emotions, that isn't always the best solution. But let's dive into things a bit further.

I personally do get angry and as stereotypical as it is to say a good number of times when I am really annoyed and irrationally reacting to that, hormones' are a playing a big role. I also am a person that gets hangry. Not too long ago I was irrationally irritated my entire drive home from work. Once I ate dinner though I felt much calmer and better. Now of course those are not the only reasons I have been angry before, we have all had legit reasons to be angry. Just ask my sister how I gave her a black eye when we were kids hahaha! I am sure you can think of plenty of times you were angry in the past and just how you reacted to it.

Now the fact that we get angry is not the problem, the way in which we react to that anger is the important part. Look, I am sure we all have had experiences in which we have reacted to anger in the wrong way (case and point giving my sister a black eye) but we can learn and grow from that. My poor mom usually is the victim of my hormonal outbursts. Just yesterday we were shopping for our Thanksgiving turkey and I was growing increasingly frustrated with the crowds (especially during a pandemic) and that we were having no luck finding the right one. That caused me to get a little angry and verbally express mu frustration. I think in all cases identifying the source is important. Hormones can't really be helped in us females unfortunately, but do you possibly just need a snack? Is something at work angering you or is a disagreement with your partner the cause? I think that is one of the most important ways to deal with anger and then you can work on fixing the issue at hand.

Here is this week's poem dedicated to the emotion of anger:

Anger

Dark ominous clouds roll in

wicked winds blow

a storm is brewing.

Suddenly thunder cracks

and lightning lights the sky.

A crack in the dam bursts through

unleashing my anger.

As I mentioned last week I have been using poetry as a tool to cope with my emotions now and I think anger is no different. If you can find any healthy way to deal with these strong emotions then you should most definitely take it. A lot of people have said that exercise helps release that stress and frustration. A more creative approach like poetry as I mentioned or even artwork is another great option as well. Do your best not to take your anger out on the people you love as I have been guilty of doing myself sometimes (I am pretty sure we all have) and find a healthy way of coping with it. Find the source of your anger and work from there.

 Welcome to this Sunday's post where you can take a break from the stress and anxiety you may have or continue to feel from the world around us. Need a break from politics and the 2020 presidential election? Well you came to the right place because I am going to keep that completely out of this post other than the mention I just made. Grab a cup of coffee, tea, or hot chocolate and relax. No matter what the only direction to go is forward so embrace that! I wanted to start a little series of posts on my page here. I have mentioned emotions as a whole many times on here before, but I thought why not take some time to embrace each one and talk about them more in depth than ever before and maybe even include a poem I have written about each emotion as well. The first emotion? Sadness.

Sadness is something each and every one of us feels. Sometimes it is a small emotion that just hangs in the back of our mind, and other times it is a large one that takes over and consumes you as you work through it. I think it is safe to say that sadness is something that can overpower a lot of our emotions. Often I know if I am sad, happier news or event lose a bit of their luster because the cause of my sadness is in the back of my mind. First of all I want to say you are not weak or less than if you feel sad. If life was always about the highs in life and we never experienced the lows, then the highs really would not mean as much in comparison no would they? There are also so many levels of sadness, but that doesn't mean you are not entitled to feel sad when the cause is something much smaller. Humans are separated from any other species on earth because of our ability to feel and comprehend emotions to the level that we do so embrace that, good or bad.

As I mentioned last week I have been a little sad lately because we had to put our family dog of 14 years down. Sure the pain is a lot duller than it was two weeks ago, but it is still there. I still catch myself looking for him or calling for him even though I know he is not there. It is all just part of the process. Do I like the feeling of being sad? Of course not but in a way it is nice to know you are still human and still feeling emotions. I want to encourage you to allow yourself to feel sad when you need to. Listen, this has been a tough year for every last one of us to some regard. You may have lost a loved one, had to cancel a big event like your wedding, lost your job, etc. and each one of those are valid reasons to feel sad. That does not mean you are weak if you embrace those feelings. Just a couple of months ago I caught myself bottling things up through this entire year. Up until that point I had not cried or let myself feel any of it. A friend of mine passed away in March and I hardly reacted. I had to cancel an important trip and I did not react as strongly as I expected. I was getting worried about myself when finally the water burst through the dam and I felt it all at once. This genuinely is not a great coping method. Allow yourself to feel sad and deal with it in a healthy way.

So what about when someone else is sad in your life? Well I of course cannot speak for everyone but in my personal experience the best thing someone else can do is be there for you. Now some of us need space when they are sad, I am one of those people myself. So instead of being there for them physically, a gesture or even just some kind words will do wonders. A text message or call saying you are thinking about them is a lovely thing that will go a long way. Maybe bringing them a coffee to work or a card if the situation makes sense to do that. My boss and his wife gave me a cute little card and a coffee cake for the family when they found out about my dog and it was so very appreciated to know they were thinking about us. Just do not suffocate the person. Let them know you are here for them if they wish, but that the decision to ask for you is on their terms. I know we are all different, but I think that is something we can all agree on. 

I want to end the post with a poem about sadness I wrote shortly after we put our pup down:

Sadness

At first it brews,

like a simmering pot slowing rising

to a raging steam

soft burning behind the eyes

a lump stuck like a throat frog

tight stomach knots.

Pain bursts through

like lava erupting from a volcano.

Poetry is now one of the ways I cope with emotions as well so it seemed only fitting to write a poem while feeling an emotion so strongly. If you are feeling sad always keep in mind that you are not alone. We all feel sadness from time to time but the important part is working through it. Sure our loved ones or pets will never come back to us but they will always live on in our hearts. They never fully leave you. Always remember you are not weak for feeling sad! If anything it only makes us stronger!

 If anyone reading this knows me personally, you will know that last weekend was a pretty rough one for me and my family. We had to put our sweet Yorkie Tobie down last Friday. He lived a good long life of 14 years and it was just his time, but of course no matter how prepared you are for these things it is never easy. I was thankful that I had last week’s post more than half written already so I was still able to post something. My experiences during that in a way really inspired this week’s post as well. Not the sadness or pain from it, but the small acts of kindness I saw around me because of it. So, I figured why not take the pain we were and still are feeling and put a positive spin on things as I always try to do with this page.

I want to start out by giving my friend Nicole a special shout out.  It just happened that she gave birth to her beautiful baby boy on the same day that we had to put Tobie down. I didn’t want to tell her and take away from that, but she knows me well enough to know something was wrong. She went out of her way, while still in the hospital mind you, to make me smile and I am so appreciative of that. Such a small gesture can go so far when you genuinely need the smile, and that is exactly what I am talking about with my post here. Small acts of kindness can go so far, especially if the person is genuinely struggling with something. If you see a friend in need of a hug, give it to them!

Words can lighten a load a friend or loved one is carrying as well. I know I have used this quote before, but in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling, Albus Dumbledore says "Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it." This is so incredibly true in my opinion, and for the record Dumbledore has all the wise, relatable quotes in the series! On Monday at work I was on the phone with a client and I talked her through finding a form I emailed her. Once all was said and done, she emailed me back saying that my boss is very fortunate to have me as an assistant. I had a rough morning emotionally so that really put a smile on my face. She genuinely has no idea just how much that meant to me on that particular day. Choosing kindness, even when it is not necessarily required, is never going to be a bad decision to make.

So, what is my point in all of this? I just want it to be known how far small acts of kindness truly can help some people. You never know just what demons or struggles someone is dealing with on a daily basis. I know this topic has been done before on this page, but I genuinely just felt the need to talk about it again today and remind everyone to stay kind to one another. If you live in the United States you know that we have an election in a few days. With that comes an entire avalanche of negativity (in my opinion) as everyone has their own views and many times friends and family may disagree. There is no need to be hateful because of this. Just agree to disagree and move on. Spread joy and kindness instead of negativity and hate.

I am going to end this post a little differently than normal. Usually I sum things up and summarize my thoughts here, but instead I would like to offer some kindness and maybe a little guidance as well. It is no secret that this year has been a struggle for pretty much all of us. I cannot think of one person that has not had at least one thing happen to them that negatively affected them. It helps to stay busy and to distract yourself from the pain as you grieve. I wrote this post a lot earlier in the week than normal because I have found that writing is a nice distraction to me. Last weekend I made and canned homemade apple butter, made some homemade bread, and painted pumpkins for the kiddos in my life. All of these were things I enjoy doing and they helped keep my mind distracted and on happier things. You need to deal with grief instead of always pushing it aside for distractions, but temporarily ignoring the pain is okay too as long as you do deal with it in a healthy way. We are all in this thing called life together, so let’s remember to always be kind, especially when the ones we love need us the most.