A Reflection of Two Years/ Changes
Two years ago I decided to start this page. That really got
me thinking about all that changes you typically go through in the course of
such a small amount of time compared to the rest of your life. 2 years, 730 days (well in this case 731
since this was a leap year) does not seem like that much time when you think
about it in those terms, but so many things can happen in that time.
Two years ago I decided that in order to use my love of writing
(hopefully for good) I would start a blog, sharing my story of how I had lost
120 lbs. I was hoping that at the very least one person would come across my
page and would take something from it that truly helped them. I still hope for
that. I strictly started this page to share my story of how I lost the weight
and planned to lose more… well plans obviously change.
So many things have happened in those 731 days. This page
has without a doubt taken quite an unexpected turn! As I have mentioned in
previous posts I have gained a portion of the weight I had lost when I started
this page. That really bothered me at one point. If you have been following my
page at all, you probably noticed my complete lack of posting in late 2014 and
into 2015. This was right around when I gained the weight back, and quite
honestly I felt like a complete hypocrite giving any sort of weight-loss advice
when I myself wasn’t even following any of that. Truthfully it was a pretty low
point for me. I was getting very stressed about my final semester of college,
then not being able to find a job after college, I always felt like I needed to
be in a relationship to be happy and wasn’t in one. All that stress triggered
an acne breakout worse than when I first hit puberty (which I finally have
cleared up) which also took an absolutely huge toll on my self-esteem. It is
hard to believe the person I have become since then. If I went back and visited
that version of me, I would probably be shocked!
As you can already tell I wanted this 2 year anniversary
post to be a reflection of the path my blog has taken, and also reflect on the
many changes I have been through since June 2014. So many people are scared of
change. I was, still am to a certain degree but taking risks and going out of
your comfort zone only helps you grow. It truly is funny how once you at least
try and be less shy how much happier you become. Do not be afraid of change.
This page went from being a strictly diet and exercise help
and tips blog to more of a self-love and positivity page and I am absolutely thrilled
about that. I truly am absolutely in love with the person I have become. I have
a new found love for myself that I truly never thought I would achieve. Sure I
do want to be at a healthier weight for both my confidence and my health, but I
am no longer beating myself up because I am not getting there fast enough or
killing myself to do it.
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance,” –Oscar
Wilde
Change is a beautiful thing, it truly is! Not to bring up a
totally cliché example here, but think of a caterpillar changing into a
butterfly. A rather average looking insect builds a shell around itself only to
emerge as a beautiful butterfly (I know you are reading this and laughing Mom
because of my traumatic experience at the Butterfly Conservatory). When we
change, we sometimes have to leave people, places, even things behind, and that’s
okay. When there is no longer any room in your life for someone or something,
it only means you are making room for something much greater.
To sum this post up that is getting progressively longer and
longer, I just wanted to say that change has been so good to me. I have grown
so much as a person recently and over these past 2 years and I love that. I
also love how my page reflects this. I really do not care if I don’t have a
single reader, I do this for me and only to make me happy… but the fact that
you all do read it means a lot. I am so glad to have become this person, it was
truly who I have been wanting to become all along. I no longer will allow my
shyness to get to me. I no longer will allow my weight to define me. I love
myself and nobody is going to take that from me… Those are all sentences I
never in a million years figured I would ever say and truly mean. I will
continue to grow and change every day and that will continue to show that on my
page. I have even decided what I truly want to write now in hopes of being
published. Although there are a lot of aspects of my future that are still very
unclear, it feels great to be looking forward to it rather than fear it.
Change is a great thing after all!
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