Positively Weightless: January 2020

Yesterday I spent the day with some of my very best friends that I have been with since high school. Sure as the years passed by we went in and out of touch but we've still been there for each other through the good times and the bad. We went from having sleepovers almost every weekend to getting together far less often for sushi and Pina coladas, but the friendship has been there. That lead me to think about time and how quickly it seems to go by. I think there are a lot of important lessons to remember when it comes to time.

It is now 2020 which means my 10 year high school reunion is just around the corner. 10 years since I have seen the majority of those people. 10 years since my last chorus concert and my last regents exam. 10 years that seemingly have gone by in the blink of an eye. At that time my niece was also a newborn and my nephew was not even born yet. I still weighed well over 300 lbs and was eating junk and never exercising. I was just starting to think about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, like most Seniors in high school are, and it was just about 10 years ago to the day that I found out I was accepted into the college I attended. Looking back, is my life exactly how I was hoping it would be in 10 years? No. I think anyone would be lying if they said theirs was. Life takes unexpected turns. Am I a 5 times New York Times bestseller like I dreamed? No but I absolutely love the job I have and not many people can say that. I also am able to still keep my writing dream alive on the side which is more than many can say. As I said life throws us into many different directions but they all seem to pan out exactly how they are meant to.

Think about the person you wanted to be 10 years ago. Are you close to being that person or did life throw you an entirely different way? Either way, are you are content with how you turned out? If so, great! If not, I want to remind you to never lose hope and to keep working toward your goal. Maybe like myself you wish to be a successful writer. Well I would say I already am in a small scale. Sure I haven't published a best selling novel yet but I have this blog that I love to write with a small amount of followers as well as my growth in poetry. I would still very much consider that a win. Perhaps you have a similar story. Maybe your dream is still a bit more out of reach that you would like. Maybe your life is the complete opposite of where you thought it would be 10 years ago. Regardless of that the most important thing is to remember that you (and only you) have the power to change that. Focus on one really good thing in your life. It could be a physical item, it could be a person, maybe even a pet or something along those lines. Focus on that. Focus on the light in your life and do whatever you can to make it grow even brighter. You may not reach your goals in the way you think, but I promise you will reach them somehow.

With all of that being said I think it is also very important to not solely focus on the future. If we are always looking completely ahead we just might miss what is around us in this very moment. Work hard, but don't work so hard that you don't make it to all of your child's recitals or sports events. Yes sometimes we need to focus on our careers and dreams, but don't let that get in the way of your friendships or relationships with your partner and family members. Remember to take care of yourself as well! If you are constantly working hard toward your goal it should never be at the expense of your health! If we ignore everything around us in the present in order to have the future we dream of having, how bright is that future if there is no one to share it with? If you have never seen the movie Click with Adam Sandler watch it! It pretty much has this exact moral to the story--but be warned I've cried like a baby every time I have watched it. The most important time is the present, and I just want everyone to remember that!

Looking back on the past 10 years there are plenty of things I thought I would have experienced by now but I haven't. Does that make me a failure? Nope! I sure don't think so at least. My life took a completely different route than I was expecting it would but I honestly wouldn't change it for the world. I truly am content with how my life has worked out and I absolutely am taking the time to enjoy the present. Yes it is fun to look toward the future too, but as I have said the present is the main focus. Always remember to keep your head up and to keep on the path toward your goals. Sure sometimes that path changes or comes to a fork in the road, but as long as you keep moving forward, no matter what path you choose at that fork on the road, you will being living life to the fullest. Just remember to stop occasionally to enjoy the field of wildflowers along the way. You will never regret that.

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As anyone who reads my posts on a frequent basis, I say a lot that the topics each week typically come to me during my every day life. Sometimes I have them planned out weeks ahead of time, but usually I will take something very small and do my very best to put a positive spin on it and turn it into some sort of lesson for my readers. I will get into the reason shortly. First I wanted to mention that this is a bit of a repeat topic, but one I find pretty important. In life I think a lot of us are way too hard on ourselves and as a result sell ourselves short and I wanted to put an encouraging spin on just that!

Let's rewind just a bit to earlier this week. One of my bosses brought a very small error on my part to my attention. It was fixed quickly and easily, but he just brought it to my attention to be proactive so I was aware of it moving forward. Honestly no biggie! He even said that himself that he was only bringing it up so I was aware of it looking forward. He followed that up but saying I should not beat myself up over it (he knows me pretty well huh? 😉). If you know me at all you will of course know that I did get upset about it at first. Making mistakes is always so embarrassing to me and I usually just feel really bad about it especially when they are work related. Once I calmed down a little though I realized that like he said, it was mentioned to me more to make sure it didn't happen again. The timing of that paperwork was also right when I was my most busy and stressed out there as I've mentioned prior in my posts. I realized I was being too hard on myself. I realized that the problem was able to be fixed so I should not be too hard on myself. I am human. I am going to make mistakes here and there. I need to lighten up a bit and not doubt myself!

You can be good at your job and still make mistakes. What is important is moving forward afterwards. The most important thing to remember is to not sell yourself short! There are plenty of other examples of places in life where we doubt ourselves. Take our health and fitness for example. A lot of people do not get to a gym or on a consistent workout schedule because they think they are not capable of doing so. Maybe you are similar to how I used to be at the gym and strictly stuck with the cardio machines for years because you did not think you would be able to handle weight training in any way shape or form. If I could go from that to being able to leg press more than my body weight I am pretty sure you can too! You are going to make mistakes. I have had people at the gym come over and help me correct my form or help me with a machine before, but do you know what? I have also more recently had people stop me at the gym to praise all the hard work they have seen me putting in. If I was going to let doubt get in the way I would not be where I am today!

I have mentioned this before but one of my very favorite Harry Potter quotes is "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." All these years later and I still love this quote. If you sit around dreaming but never let yourself act on those dreams are you living at all? I have always dreamed of being published and after hard work I was able to achieve that with my poetry. I did not get there by not living. I got there by working toward it and pushing forward. I was able to reach a small piece of my dream because I have been living life. What is your biggest dream in life? Maybe you long for a spouse and a family. Maybe you want to be a singer, writer, painter, etc. Maybe you want to travel the world. You will never get there if all you do is sit at home and think about all the reasons you never will be able to. Dwelling on the dreams and how out of reach they are will only keep them out of arm's reach. Being proactive and believing in yourself is exactly how you will achieve them, not by doubting yourself.

If you make a mistake just remember we all do. If you made a mistake at work like I did, I would imagine most people (as long as this mistake is not recurring) are going to be forgiving. We are all human. We are all imperfect. We are all just doing the best we can with the time we were given to live on this earth. Never take any mistake and turn it into a reason you are not moving toward your goals. Learn from those mistakes, but do not dwell on them. Never doubt yourself and sell yourself short because of them either. Work toward your dreams instead of admiring them from afar while doubting you'll ever reach them. If we all just left our dreams up in the clouds we would not have so many things we are so accustomed to in our everyday lives including the laptop I am writing this on and the Internet you are using to read it. Stop doubting yourself and start believing in yourself!

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Last week I talked about working on your 2020 goals, however, I kept it to just talking about fitness goals. I think many of us make fitness and weight loss goals for the new year, but of course that is not the only kind of goal we can make. What about the smaller habits we are hoping to change in our lives? Or maybe you have a big project you want to accomplish by the end of this year. There is truly an endless list of possibilities. As long as we have the motivation and the desire to achieve a goal, it should be within our reach. Your desire is what will help you more in the long run though, since motivation only goes so far.

Think about it: When we first make a goal we have a huge burst of motivation that powers us through starting the path to reaching said goal. For the sake of this point lets talk about fitness again. If you are someone like me you probably set a start date to buckle back down and get back to eating right 100% of the time and exercising and a consistent schedule. That day comes and I am all in. Meal prepping and planning, limiting my snacking, eager to get to the gym each day of my schedule and full of energy. A few weeks pass and that gradually starts to die down. I still do all the planning and exercising and such, but it is more because I am forcing myself rather than because I am motivated and excited to. On one hand there is nothing wrong with that. As long as you are getting the job done it honestly does not make much of a difference why we did it. But I think it is important to remember this because when motivation dies down we only have our self control and drive to still be able to reach our goals.

Let's talk a little but more about the other kinds of goals we may want to accomplish throughout the year. What I mean by smaller goals is that they are not a life long achievement like losing a life saving amount of weight is. A fitness journey is a lifestyle change whereas these goals are, in my opinion, more for pleasure and for the current year. Maybe you are looking to save money for a specific goal. It could be for a new car, a vacation with your family, or to move into a new home. Maybe you want to dedicate more time to doing something you love. Life gets busy so I know there are plenty of people that put their hobbies and even relationships with friends or family members on the back burner. I would say any one of these goals is still going to be good for your health, and by that I mean your mental health. Take some time and think about some of the things you may have been neglecting in your busy life.

In 2020 I have a few different smaller goals I would like to accomplish. Personally I want to read a lot more in this new year. I used to love reading and would sometimes stay up late reading in bed even though I knew I would be tired the next day. I still love to read but just over the past few years I haven't been dedicating as much time to reading as I would like. Another one as I am sure nobody will be surprised to hear is to do some more writing this year. I mentioned that in my last post of 2019, but figured it was worth mentioning here again as well. I would love to write some new poetry and maybe dive back into a little fiction as well. Saving money is always a good one especially since I am planning on moving out into my own place in the very near future. I honestly have a good amount of small goals I am hoping to meet this year, and I think they are just as important as the larger goals we set for ourselves.

What hobby or relationship have you been neglecting the last few years? Are you like me and never do much reading anymore? Maybe start small and read a new chapter every weekend when you have some spare time. Slowly increase that until you are at a pace you want to be again. In all reality your larger goals can be broken up into smaller goals too. Start by going to the gym 2 times a week and as soon as you are comfortable increase that. If you want to give up sweets maybe start by eating trail mix with chocolate pieces in it as a snack. You still get to have some sugar but you are not immediately jumping into zero sugar whatsoever. Regardless to what your goals may be I think it is incredibly important to remember keep moving forward and if you slide back just keep going. Each and every smaller goal can be a stepping stone leading us to the person we have always longed to be.

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A very happy 2020 to all of you! I truly hope this new year brings you everything you wish for and you are able to meet all of the goals you have set for yourself. Speaking of goals, I mentioned new year resolutions last week. If you are like most people you probably spent some time before the new year setting some goals to meet in 2020. I think overall the most popular one is getting healthy and more fit. I am no exception to that as I said last week. Where do we start though when it comes to meeting our fitness goals? I remember back when I first started exercising and eating better it really was pretty intimidating. Between diet plans like Keto and Atkins, to all the advertisements for crazy diet teas and meal plans there really is a lot of information out there. I am not expert by any means, but I figured I would offer a little advice when it comes to getting started.

First off I am just going to say it: You don't need any crazy detox teas, weight loss miracle pills, or appetite surprising lollipops to succeed. Assuming your goal is weight loss, you genuinely just need to eat more sensibly and if you are like me, improve your overall relationship with food. Your body is built a very specific way to function as you should. Of course there are exceptions to this but overall your hunger cues are there for a reason. My biggest piece of advice when you feel hungry is to ask yourself if you are genuinely hungry or are you just bored and/or craving a snack? I am the worst culprit of this I will admit. If you think you are hungry then have a darn snack! So many people are scared to actually eat when they are trying to lose weight and that is really just not good. Keep fresh fruits and vegetables on had to grab when you need something. Add some protein to the mix and dip your veggies in hummus. Maybe a measured out serving of nuts or trail mix. What is important to remember is this is a snack and not a meal.

Speaking of meals preparation is going to be the key to your success! I cannot stress this enough honestly. Plan your meals for the week at least a few days ahead. I personally plan them all out and do my grocery shopping after work on Fridays. I find the recipes I want to try, make up a meal and snack plan for the week and then make a shopping list. This way you get everything you need for the week in one go and don't need to make a million trips to the grocery store. This also means you are prepared with healthy options in your home so you don't stray away from your plan from a lack of options. Going off of this idea if you work a typical 9-5 type job I cannot stress the importance of meal prepping your lunch enough (or if you are on different schedules whichever main meal you may work during). By taking some time out of your Sunday afternoon you can cook yourself a healthy meal full of veggies and good fats, protein, and carbs to keep you satisfied during the day. Yes it takes some time to do so, but if you bring your lunch with you, you are going to save money on take out and have a much healthier option. I have been praising meal prep for years now and that has not changed. Just do your best to make sure you have access to healthy foods. You are going to eat junk food from time to time, and that's okay, but just be sure to make sure the good foods far outweigh the less good foods.

Exercise and getting healthier go hand in hand. There is no one alive that will no benefit from some kind of exercise. If you are new to this world though it is incredibly intimidating to get started. I have always suggested in the past that the best way to get started is to workout from home. It took me a very long time before I was comfortable going to a gym. I lost a good amount of weight by going on walks and using the Wii Fit video game. Once this was no longer challenging to me is when I switched to the gym. I highly suggest doing the same if a gym is intimidating. Maybe you want to go to the gym though but don't know where to start. I would say to start with cardio at first then just to get a feel for the environment. Then you can expand your abilities from there. Are you hoping to try a more targeted program and working with weights but are unsure of what to do? If you can afford it then I highly suggest a personal trainer at the gym as well. I've worked with mine for over a year now and am so glad I did. I know so much more now and am fully comfortable with all the equipment at the gym. If you have someone to go with you should too! A gym buddy is going to help with motivation and you are less likely to blow off your workouts.

Overall I have the exact same piece of advice for your health journey, and that is to start small and work your way up. You are not going to change overnight. If you try to cut all the foods you love out of your life at once and jump right into a 5 days a week workout routine chances are you are not going to succeed. Slowly work day by day to a healthier you. As long as you prepare yourself along the way you will be just fine. I think it is also important to remember that everyone around us has their own goals and everyone is working with their own pace. Trust me I am the first person to get initially annoyed when I pull into the gym parking lot the first weeks of January and I cant find a parking spot because it is so packed. I have to remind myself too sometimes that everyone was a newbie at the gym at some point. Everyone is at the gym with similar goals and we all have just as much right to be there than everyone else. Do your best to stay kind, and even offer help if you see someone struggling to figure out a machine or something. We are all working towards our own goals, just remember to take them one day at a time!

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