Positively Weightless

 I know, I keep taking weeks off of my page here. Last weekend being the 4th I was just a bit busy and did not plan ahead before going out of town with my parents for the night. But that's okay. I do this blog for me and I think just moving forward is the most important thing. Today I wanted to talk about social media a bit. I have talked about this topic a bit in the past but I have never dedicated an entire post to it. There is a lot I want to say about this particular topic so I think it is good to just dive right in!

First off I want to make sure I say that this post is not to attack anyone at all. If you are reading this and thinking I am talking about you, I am not. I am strictly talking about the topic as a whole. To be completely honest I was inspired by "White Woman's Instagram" from Bo Burnham's special Inside. Thanks again Nicole for getting me so obsessed with that haha! The song is comical on the surface, and I have more than a few posts of things he mentioned on my own Instagram admittedly, but there is certainly a deeper meaning to the song when you really listen to it. That is what I want to dive into. The way I interpreted the song is that we put up such a superficial façade to the world through social media. 

We post pictures of lattes, our big happy milestones, and the new recipe we made for dinner that night. What about the bouts of depression in which we don't wash our hair for days and cry ourselves to sleep. What about the days we are just incredibly non-productive and spent most of it in dirty pajamas on the couch. I personally try to represent all sides of my life when I present myself to the world, especially on this page, but even I leave some things off of the internet. Now that is okay too. The next part of this post I am going to talk about how we do not need to share every last thing about our lives to the world, but I do think it is very misleading to never show any downsides either. Take these big social media influencers for example. Typically they are posting this highly positive posts with a picture that just encompasses their perfect lives, all mixed together with an ad for a detox tea or energy drink. You never seen most of them talking about any sort of negative emotion they might be having. I find that incredibly misleading and dangerous to present to the likely young followers they have. When on social media I think it is incredibly important to remember that the poster is only letting you see exactly what they want to about their life.

What about posting in general? Well I personally have really pulled back on my posting on social media. I am not sure if it is just because I am getting older or what, but just naturally I stopped posting about every little thing. Sure it is nice to share some milestones or brag about my amazing loaf of sourdough I baked a few weeks ago, but I rarely post anymore other than that. There are a ton of people that are on such an opposite end of the spectrum though. I say all this without judgement of course, but I genuinely wonder why some people truly feel the need to post every last thing about their lives. Life is so much more fulfilling if you just enjoy it. Just because you are not posting about donating to charity or fighting for civil rights does not mean you are not helping with those causes behind the scenes. Just because you are not sharing photos of your big purchases does not mean you get to enjoy them any less. On the opposite side of things, just because someone in your life does not react to your posts it does not mean they are any less proud of you or love you any less. I think so many of us need to relax a bit when it comes to seeking the validation of social media. 

I want to make it clear again this is not an attack on anyone at all. I think we all to an extent seek validation from others especially social media. It just comes naturally as a human, seeking praise and validation from those around us. The most important thing to remember when it comes to social media is that it is simply a lens in place so we only see what the poster wants us to see. Just like in "White Woman's Instagram" when the woman allows her emotions to show through a sentimental post, that is gone almost as soon as it starts as soon as she again starts listing off things to seek validation from the viewer of her post. I think we all have a little of this in us. My advice is to just enjoy life. Instead of posting a picture of the sunset, sit with the person you love and enjoy it. Instead of pausing at a restaurant you are at to take a picture of your meal to post, eat the food, savor it, and savor the company you are with just as much. Share your emotions if you wish, but most importantly take the time to feel them. Life is meant to be lived in the moment, not paused so you can post it on Instagram.

"I am just looking to hopefully change the world through my love of writing and my positive attitude." This sentence has been in my bio of this blog for years now. Ever since I decided to focus in on a different topic for this page, since some of you may remember that this started as a weight-loss blog, that has always been right there in the corner to the right. So why bring it up now? I have been thinking lately of just that. Changing the world. How can I, Amy Maier, 29 years old (and rapidly approaching 30, or at least it feels like it) living just a normal life. Responsibilities, hobbies, routines, etc. There is nothing all that phenomenal about my life, and I say that in the most positive way possible. You may be reading this thinking the same thing. How can me, average joe change the world, and I think that is a pretty simple answer.

I think before we answer the question we need to dive into why it is being asked. Why does the world need to be changed? I am going to do my best not to dive into politics here, because I really do not want to go there, but a lot of these topics have become political. If you take a look around you, things may seem fine on the surface, but you are one of the lucky ones. We have people living on the streets. Homeless and hungry. We have children being put into horrific situations that even grown adults would not be able to live in. We have women afraid on a daily basis doing daily tasks. There is so much darkness and loss in this world and it genuinely is so sad to see that some live with such abundance while others have nothing. Some get to live their lives unpunished for committing horrible crimes while others are punished unreasonably for lesser crimes. Evil truly does roam this earth more than it rests.

So why do I bring all this up? What can we all do? The truth of the matter is we of course cannot all singlehandedly change the world. Even if we all worked together I doubt it sadly would be possible. Life is about balance and I suppose the sad truth is that if we never experienced pain or sadness or suffering we would never truly appreciate the good things in our life. We can all strive to be better people though. We can all stop focusing solely on our lives and our needs and our suffering. This world would be an incredibly lonely place if the only person living on it was you. So sure you may not be able to change the world yourself but you absolutely can do your part to make sure it doesn't get any worse.

My entire point in bringing this up is to share my thoughts on truly changing the world as much as you can. We all have hobbies and talents and ways we let our true selves shine in this life. Maybe you love to paint and write like I do. Take my blog for example. I do not have a large following. Only about 8 official followers and I do not get too many views. I have always said and still stand by the fact that I write these posts for me and the hopes that someone stumbles around them that needs them. If I have helped anyone in their struggles that means my job here has paid off. Sure I am truly not changing the world as a whole on this page, but I may have changed one person's world and that to me is a win. If you don't focus on the bigger picture, it is much easier to see how you can have an impact. 

What do you truly enjoy to do in life? Do you like to paint like me? Share your artwork with the world somehow. Maybe you don't get a while lot of attention for it but I guarantee you will bring a smile to someone's face with it. If you write like I do share your work! Post that poem you have been working on where a friend may enjoy it. Even if you do not have any creative hobbies, do what you can to put a smile on someone's face today. Look, we have all had such a difficult year and a half. I do not know a single person that isn't struggling to some extent at this point into the pandemic, even if it is getting better in most places. Be a little kinder to one another. Show a little more love to one another. Work together because a small chain of kindness can have an amazing outcome for this cold, dark, world we all share.

 I am going to take today's post to revisit a topic I have talked about many times on this page. I am someone who firmly believes that routines are good for all of us to have. Sure we are all different and some people do better on them than others, but I think a routine is very much a big key to getting the success in your goals that you are trying to achieve. As I have mentioned I moved recently and that in a sense threw my routines into a frenzy and I had to adapt to change things up, I still am in some ways was well, so I thought now would be a great time to revisit this topic and talk about my experience with it in recent days.

Last year I think the reason a lot of us were struggling, and maybe some of you still are because you are still working from home, is because our routines were turned upside-down essentially overnight. I personally was in the office 5 days a week, went to the gym after work 4 out of those 5 days, and on Saturdays. Suddenly I was no longer going into the office and could not go to the gym for months. I was finally in a good routine with the gym and I have not fully recovered from that even today almost a year later. If you are still struggling with this, trust me you are not alone. I know a lot of people have loved working from home but others, like myself, could not stand it. I think for a lot of people that routine being completely changed around took a big toll on our mental health.

With all of that being said I think it is important to talk about what to do when a routine is changed around. I no longer live at my parents house, so a lot of things have changed for me. Before if I didn't feel like cooking after work I could just have something my Mom made. Now I pretty much have to cook even if I do not want to. I am still trying to get my morning routine down since my commute to work is a bit shorter so that has been a change. I have an entire apartment I need to keep clean so I need to work the chores into my schedule as well. I am not complain at all and in some ways I love having these new responsibilities, but it very much is a change. I have been trying to embrace my new closer location to the gym and waking up early to go before work instead of after where I am struggling to find the motivation to go. 

When things get flipped around on you, embrace it! Like I said before sure I have to cook dinner every night for myself but it gives me the chance to have no rules with it. Wednesdays from now on are going to me my pizza nights and I am going to eat that pizza on the couch and watch the new episodes of Loki every week. I want to encourage you to do the same. No I don't me pizza and Disney+ every Wednesday, I mean finding a silver lining with your routines being switched around. If you are still working from home take the time you would have spent a year ago on your commute and use it for yourself. Get in a morning workout, read a bit of a book, take extra time one a healthy breakfast in the morning. I would say the most important part of your routine getting switched around is finding a way to embrace it.

How have your routines switched around in the last year? I think it is safe to say that every single one of us have had to deal with this in some way, shape, or form. As I have been saying throughout this entire post the most important thing we can do with this is handling it in a healthy way. It is not going to do anyone any good to sit around and complain about things, like SO many people have been doing throughout this entire last year. Find a way to let this change have a positive impact on your life.

Here I am sitting down to write a blog post at 8pm on a Sunday. Typically I would have had the post well written and posted by this time, but such is life right? As I talked about last week, plans do not always pan out exactly as we want them to. Sometimes our routines are mixed up and the unexpected comes to play. No matter how hard we try, some things just cannot be accommodated for. Now I could have gotten settled in for the night here and just blew off another post, but I did not want to do that. I wanted to sit down and write down my thoughts this week so I pushed forward, and even though this post will be going up late, it will still be going up.

So let's get into today's topic. I wanted to branch off of last week's post just a bit here and talk about why it can be a good thing when life takes an unexpected turn. This past week I saw a post online saying something along the lines of: If the person you were 5 years ago saw you today, what would they think? That post was unexpectant and so positive to me. To think of all I have accomplished in just those few years is pretty amazing to me. Back then I was working at a job that if I was still only making that pay I absolutely would not have been able to move into the new place I recently did. 5 years ago I did not write poetry at all and I have since had a piece published. I have gained a lot of mental and physical strength in that time as well and to think of what me 5 years ago would think if she saw me today is a pretty emotional thought to have.

I want you to sit and think of the same question to yourself. 5 years ago where were you in comparison to today? It is possible your situation is not drastically different, or perhaps you took a turn in a negative way since then. If that is the case think of the time that has passed. What got you to where you are today. What could you improve on? What can you change? I know I personally would go back and not let myself fly off the handle when it comes to my weight loss journey. I would go back and help myself change my bad habits earlier so I may not have had such a struggle last year when we were all social distancing. I would make more time for hobbies and things I love to do rather than just getting through day to day life. I think no matter how much you wish you could change in the past it is important to remember that it is never too late to make progress.

When I look at the time that has passed in my life it is a pretty beautiful thing. Sure I am getting older, but I am getting to see myself bloom as well as the people I love around me bloom. Friends are getting married and having beautiful babies. Others are moving on to new chapters of their lives, or maybe even returning to old habits they once lost sight of. We can never get time back all we can do is make the most out of what we have left. 

"If all time is eternally present. All time is unredeemable." -T.S. Elliot, Four Quartets

Do not dwell on the past, just be mindful of the fact that you from 5 years ago would likely be amazed a who you are today. If you did not make any big accomplishments in that time I think it is important to give yourself credit for the fact that you are still here. I said I wouldn't mention it again but think about the fact that you have lived over a year of a global pandemic, if anything the fact that you are here today, mentally and physically healthy after everything we have lived through in the past year is pretty darn amazing if you ask me, so do not be so hard on yourself. Remember that time is not infinite for us. We are only given so much of it in this lifetime. Do you want to sit around and dwell on what could have been? Or would you rather make the most out of it and be proud that you are here?

 I know, I know. I just took a break back in March, and here I am coming back after taking 3 more weeks off. That was not intentional by any means, May was just such a busy week for me. First it was Mother's Day and I did not plan ahead and write a post before Sunday that week, then the following weekend I moved and was exhausted, and then last weekend I was on a trip for one of my longest friend's bachelorette weekend. If anything, however, this unplanned break from writing only inspired the topic for today's post, and that is that sometimes things just do not go according to plan, and that sometimes that is for the best.

Moving is a perfect example to start with for this topic. Some of you may know that I had fully planned on moving out of my parents house last Spring, but 2020 was wild so that obviously did not happen. Instead it happened almost exactly a year later. It absolutely has worked out for the best though as I have found a place I love and have settled in nicely already and the situation just overall is really good. Another pro to the original plan not working out is it gave me even more time to prepare. I had pretty much every last thing I needed in order to be living in my own place from dishes to cleaning supplies and everything in between. Certain things I overlooked when preparing a year prior, and I saved a lot more money in the meantime as well. Even actual moving day we had a few things that I did not perceive happening but everything worked out for the best.

I think another great example, which is also an extension of my last example, would be 2020 as a whole. I know I keep bringing this up, but I think it is important to remind ourselves just how strong we have been over the past year. All sorts of plans had to change last year from trips, to weddings, to birthing plans of new mothers. It is important we mourn the loss of those things in our lives and realize it is okay to still be upset. If you had to re-plan a wedding, just think of how much nicer it is going to be now that mask restrictions have been lifted and your guests no longer have to be Covid tested. If you have to re-plan a trip like me, just keep in mind it will only be that much sweeter because of the wait, and you still have that to look forward to. If you had a baby during the peak of Covid, yes nothing is going to change that but hey, silver lining, when your child is older and acting up you can remind them you gave birth in a global pandemic! 😉 

Take some time and think about your life and how your planning has changed it. Trust me I am someone who plans ahead. I go to a new restaurant and I have already looked at the menu 3 times over online before we get there. I ask what clothes I should wear to something even if I know the event is pretty casual. I ask how we are going to split the check before even going to a restaurant if I am going out with a group of friends. I am very much a person who likes to have control over certain situations, but a lesson I even need to learn myself is that things almost always are not going to fully go to plan. Things are going to pop up that you are not anticipating. Planning is a great tool to have but there is always the risk of something going wrong. I am sure you can think of many times in your life that this has happened.

Overall I think the best practice is to realize that you can not fully control life. You can plan and plan and plan but there will always be that risk of something completely throwing a wrench in those plans. Life absolutely is unpredictable and we never really know what is going to happen next. I mean even as someone who does like to have a plan ahead of me, I feel like life would be incredibly boring if it always went 100% as expected every single day of my life. The important thing always is how we handle this. Do not panic or make any rash decisions. Life truly has a way of surprising us, and if a problem arises you just may be surprised at how easy the solution is. 

 Happy Sunday everyone! I hope everyone has been doing well and pushing through the last couple of weeks. I know, right after I returned to my blog I ended up skipping another week. This was completely unintentional I simply had a lot going on an completely ran out of time to write last week. There are a lot of changes going on, one incredibly exciting, and I am doing my best to balance everything until that big change takes place. I know I have talked about change on this page before but I think it is an incredibly important topic to talk about. Our entire lives are about changing and we do a lot of it every single year of our lives. So let's dive into that a little.

I think it is safe to say the last year or so has been about nothing but change. Now, I said I am not going to dive too much into talking about the pandemic anymore on this page, and I stand by that, but I think it is an important point to bring up for this topic. I am not going to go into the politics of the pandemic, vaccine, anything along those lines but think of all the change that came as a result. For most of us our lives changed in a big way. Our routines I was preaching about pre-Covid were pretty much demolished overnight (depending on where you live) we could no longer go to work, to the gym, or even to visit our loved ones. Change was forced upon all of us in some way, shape, or form. Now here we are in 2021 and still pushing through. No things are not quite back to normal but we are still getting through each day. We are maybe used to new routines and adapting to the constant changes in others. The important part is that it did not fully break us.

Change is inevitable. It simply is a part of life. I feel like a broken record but I must say once again that I fully believe that everything in life happens for a reason. Yes, a lot of the time it is unclear what this reason is. Some things you deal with are incredibly painful and I am sure none of us can even fathom to think about a reason that happened, but I truly believe down the line we realize the reason for many things that have happened and grow to accept them to some level. Friends that leave our lives, usually are making room for someone that belongs there even more. Loved ones pass on, but that just means they are no longer in pain or suffering physically or mentally. You never have to be happy with negative changes in your life, but I personally am able to find a little peace with the situation once I realize why that change may have occurred.

This weekend (and the last few, which is why I have been so busy) I have been packing up my things to finally move out of my parents house. I am so incredibly excited to be able to take this next big step in my life, but in some ways it is sad packing up the bedroom I have spent almost 20 years of my life in. There are a lot of things I will miss about being here, but that does not mean I am not incredibly excited to have my very own space to call home. It is time and I am more than ready! Plus I am not moving far away or anything of the sorts. The way I look at it, I am very blessed to have parents that have been okay with me staying with them this long, and love me so much that it makes this such a bittersweet moment. I know some people are not as lucky and could not wait to fly the nest.... or were forced to fly it earlier than they were ready for. See what I mean about change though? It has the power to evoke such drastically different emotions, sometimes at the same time like in my case right now. 

Overall I wanted to remind you all that change is inevitable and trying so hard to fight it does not typically do much. Once we learn to embrace it, it makes dealing with these changes much more manageable. Sure big emotions can come along with them, and it very important to deal with them, but aren't emotions what make us human? As I have said, everything happens for a reason. My big change was prolonged for a long time for many reasons, but I genuinely think that was all part of the unseen plan. I am thrilled with the way things worked out and I would not change a thing if I could. I hope you all learn to embrace these events as well!

I think it is safe to say that a lot of us are spending some of our precious time thinking about all of the "what ifs" right now. What if Covid never hit last year and we did not need to cancel an incredibly important event of my life that I had scheduled last year What if I had used the extra time at home to focus on my health. What if I could go back and do it all again? I think every single one of us thinks this way at some point or another. I myself and incredibly guilty of this. I talked last week about mental health and shared my experience with how some things had been taking a toll on me last week, and today I wanted to continue forward with a similar theme. What if we had done so many things differently last year?

Personally there are a lot of things I would have changed about the last year. In so many ways it felt like a wasted year. It was filled with the same mundane tasks day after day with very little to change it up since we were, and still are in some ways, very limited with how we could change things up. Now the entire time I tried my best to keep this page positive and share ways to stay positive throughout, but I only recently realized I was not actually taking my own advice through all of that time. For one I really struggled with my weight, making good food choices, and working out completely fell on the backburner. I am to this day struggling to find the motivation I had pre-Covid, but working on it. I can very easily say if I could go back I would have done everything in my power to make sure that motivation was never lost. Genuinely what was accomplished last year? On the surface, the answer to that question seems to be pretty much nothing. That is my very first gut reaction, but when I really sit to think about things, that is so far from the truth.

First and foremost, I did my part to not spread the virus to the ones I love, managed to not get sick myself, have the first vaccine in me, and overall managed to stay healthy. Now I am not here to get into the Covid debates, push a vaccine, or anything political of the sorts that came out of this pandemic, but overall my point is that I want you to remember that if you are feeling a similar way, lacking any pride in accomplishments from the past 12-14 months, I want you to first and foremost remember you are still here! You are still pushing through day to day life, even if just barely, and a year into this madness you are getting by. If you are like me and are disappointed in their weight and lack of progress over the past year, remember that your body has literally carried you through a year of a GLOBAL PANDEMIC and everything that came along with that for you personally.

Stepping away from the weight aspect of things, there are still plenty of other bright sides I can find. Anyone that knows me personally, and I believe I even mentioned here before, that I was fully set to move into my own place last spring. Covid obviously prevented that from happening due to restrictions with viewing apartments and a lack of availability, and just some personal reasons as well. This was a blessing in disguise. Firstly had I been at an apartment by myself at the start of lockdown in my state, and I would have literally no social interaction at all, I fear what my mental health would have looked liked at this point in the pandemic. Being quarantined with family, although sure we ticked each other off at times, was so much better than being stuck in an apartment by myself not being able to visit anyone. Had I moved out then I wouldn't be moving into the adorable place I am going to be moving into next month either. Truly that is something that worked out for the best.

Overall I want you all to remember to count your blessings. I think every last one of us is mourning something from the last year. Do your best to find the positive in that. As any of you that have read this page before knows, I am a firm believer in the everything happens for a reason philosophy. Perhaps this entire pandemic happened to teach us all as a human race some humility. If that is the case I think it is pretty clear to see which ones of us are lacking in that department. Maybe the past year was the universe setting all the dominos into place and once this is all behind us, the first will fall causing a chain reaction of blessings in every single one of our lives. Try your best to look on the bright side. Choose to have faith. Choose to forgive yourself for where you may have messed up last year, and remember to thank yourself for getting you to this very moment. Look back, but only for long enough to improve your path towards the future.